Communication

What is Nonviolent Communication?

Nonviolent Communication was developed by the American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. The core idea: instead of expressing judgments and accusations, you speak about what you observe, feel, need, and request.

That sounds simple. In practice, it takes some getting used to—especially if you are accustomed to speaking your mind directly.

The four steps

1. Observation

Describe what you actually see or hear, without judgment. Not "You are always late," but "At the last three meetings, you weren't there at the start."

Facts are neutral. Judgments immediately put the other person on the defensive.

2. Feeling

State how you feel about it. Not "I think that you..." (that is a judgment), but "I feel..." That makes a world of difference.

Practice this. Many people are not used to naming feelings in a professional context.

3. Need

Behind every feeling lies a need. What do you need? Reliability, cooperation, recognition?

When you express your need, you give the other person the chance to respond to it—instead of reacting to an accusation.

4. Request

Make a concrete, feasible request. Not a demand, but a question. "Could you let me know next time if you’re going to be late?" is better than "You just need to be on time."

When is it useful?

Nonviolent Communication isn't just for conflicts. It also helps with:

• Giving feedback to volunteers
• Difficult conversations with board members
• Communicating with local residents who have objections
• Situations where emotions run high

It takes practice

You won’t apply Nonviolent Communication perfectly after reading just one article; it is a skill you build over time. Start small: in your next difficult conversation, try taking just one step—name your feelings or make a concrete request instead of voicing a criticism.

Next step

Want to practice this further? Look for a Nonviolent Communication training course in your area, or check if a workshop is available via the platform.